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Cosy Space Lover

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  The only thing about Bombay is that it has small spaces and what it teaches you, is to improvise all the small details.   Small spaces doesn’t have to be shabby or filthy. These could be subdivided into pretty little corners.  Ever since I am in Bombay, my idea of making my house beautiful is to look at every wall, close my eyes and just imagine my perfect house right in front of me.  It taught me to see perfection even in the pale yellow wall colour, old fashioned construction, fully furnished second hand furniture, etc etc.. However, I tried my best to look for the right opportunities to upgrade my standard of living but all these years my love for small houses was constant.  You have to be very creative with small spaces as you need to fit in all the pretty stuff as well as the necessary stuff together.  And if that is something that gets balanced, then it fulfils your whole idea of making your house a perfect one.           

कसक

  कुछ है नहीं हमारे दरमियाँ बस फासले हैं,  अब तो अरसा भी हो चला  के याद आऊं तुम्हें मैं पर कुछ दिन से कसक हो रही है तुम्हें देखने की, आवाज़ सुनने की। पर मेरा स्वाभिमान मुझे रोक रहा है  तुम तक पहुंचने से इसलिए पुराने सँभाले हुए खत पढ रही हूँ  तुम्हें महसूस करने के लिए वो लम्हे फिर से जीने के लिए  जो मेरे लिए खास बन गए थे यूँ कह लो के तड़प दोनों के ओर से थी बस हमारे एक होने का सही समय  हमारे साथ होने पर नहीं था अब वक्त को रोकने का मन करता है  पर तुम कहीं नज़र नहीं आते...

अहम

  मेरी   पहली   कविता   की   शुरुआत   हो   तुम , मेरी   पंकतियों   में   आए   हर   प्रेम   शब्द   की   वज़ह   हो   तुम , मेरी   हर   तुकबंदियों   का   प्रयास   हो   तुम , मेरे   विचारों   से   बनी   हुई   हर   एक   कहानी   का   भाव   हो   तुम , बस   यूं   समझ   लो   के , मेरी   अंतिम   कविता   के   आखिरी   वाक्य   का   पूर्णवीरम   हो   तुम।

Diffidence

We all are scared of our insecurities specially when someone wants to know us better   We are afraid about the fact that how they will feel when they get to know our deepest secrets, things which we lack in and the flaws which are too important to hide in front of the people.  The best way to deal with this situation is to face it, accept your insecurities because if it’s not fixable then it’s not your thing to worry about, maybe god gave it to you to be strong and confident.  Don’t hide and feel bad about what you have got, because if you lead yourself down, the whole world will!!  If you have the ability to ignore and live past your insecurities, the others won’t even notice because everyone anyway is consumed with their own issues and feelings of insecurities.  At least you will be one less, who has the guts to take the high road.  Insecurities unnecessarily make one feel bad, despite one knowing the reality, they expect an unexpected response which automatically creates anxiety and

ताबीर

बेचैनी   भरी   रातों   में मुझे   सुकून   कैसे   दिलाओगे   नींद   भरी   हैं   आँखों   में   सीने   से   लगाकर   क्या   मुझे   सुलाओगे ? डर   लगता   है   मुझे   तनहा   सोने   में   करवट   बदल   अकेले   एक   कोने   में   बेबस   मेरे   हालातों   को   क्या   तुम   सम्भाल   पाओगे ?   थक   चुकी   हूँ   खुद   को   सम्भालते   हुए   ग़मों   की   अर्ज़ियाँ   खुद   ही   को   पेश   कराते   हुए   मेरे   दुखों   को   कठघरे   में   क्या   तुम   इंसाफ़   दिला   पाओगे ?  देखे   है   मैंने   कई   सपने मुस्कुराने   लगी   हूँ   मैं   उनमें उन   हसरतों   को   हक़ीक़त   बनाने   में   क्या   मेरा   साथ   निभाओगे ? मुझमें   बहुत   ख़ामियाँ   हैं खुद   को   बदलना   नहीं   आता   मुझे   मुझ   जैसा   पाकर   क्या   तुम   अपना   पाओगे ?    मेरे   रास्ते   में   काटें   बहुत   हैं   मुझे   सीधे   चलना   आता   नहीं उन   राहों   में   हाथ   थामकर   क्या   मेरे   हमसफ़र   बन   पाओगे ? स्वयं   प्रेम   बहुत   निभा   लिया   गिरना   चाहती   हूँ   बेज़ोर   इश्क़   में   प्यार   की   कश्तियों   में   डूब   जाने   वाले   क्या

Tough.

It was not easy for me,  To fall for someone.. Who smelled like cigarettes and felt like poetry. It was not easy for me, To get disappointed by his flaws.. Yet like him a little more every day. It was not easy for me to talk, When we didn’t speak for a decade of days.. Because we were fighting over a silly thing. It was not easy for me to let my thoughts out, When all he cared about was competing with me in an argument.. And thinking about winning to keep his ego satisfied. It was not easy for me to hope, That we actually could have a future together.. But he had other priorities to be worried about. It was not easy for me to believe, That all he has been doing is just waiting for me to be in his life. Yet breathing easily with the fact that I am not there anymore.

Escape

  Stop meeting me behind closed doors. I know that’s what we settled for, But feelings change right? For once at least once even you could feel the same way. If it is so good inside, why not make it similar from the outside! Why is that fear of the society? I wonder how those emotions get impacted by switching venues? May be this is what we agreed on and you are sticking by the rules! But if we felt great about it under the blanket, Ever imagined how great it would be just walking on the roads? I don’t know how this works out for you, May be when you talk emotions to someone  they eventually search for romanticism.  Despite having a control over their feelings, they fall for it.  Having said that, these situationships are creating some serious disturbance in finding love.. And I don’t have all the answers so I am just going to stop trying. Until I get what feels right in my heart!  -DS